Do you wanna go Where Rousseau goes? Do you want a plate of de Witt? When there’s nothing to eat There is one meat Just redistributed a bit It’s time to eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
Musk medaillons With Bezos bouillon Do you want a Zuckerberg chop? Bring a fork I hear it tastes like pork A billionaire escalope It’s time to eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
When you’re starving and there’s no more bread It’s time to eat the rich instead It’s time to eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
What the Dickens Such slim pickin’s A visit from Marley’s ghost Give Tiny Tim sauce For a Scrooge main course And his chitterlings on toast It’s time to eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
When you’re starving and there’s no more bread It’s time to eat the rich instead It’s time to eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
Eat the rich, eat the rich, eat the rich Eat the rich, eat the rich, eat the rich Eat the rich, eat the rich, eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
Stuff your face With Murdoch steak Dine on some Windsor mince A delicious spread Of billionaire sweetbread Food fit from a prince It’s time to eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
When you’re starving and there’s no more bread It’s time to eat the rich instead It’s time to eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
Eat the rich, eat the rich, eat the rich Eat the rich, eat the rich, eat the rich Eat the rich, eat the rich, eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
Juice trickles down From wallet and crown Get a spoon and get stuck in A feast for all Big or small It’s time to tuck in It’s time to eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
When you’re starving and there’s no more bread It’s time to eat the rich instead It’s time to eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
Eat the rich, eat the rich, eat the rich Eat the rich, eat the rich, eat the rich Eat the rich, eat the rich, eat the rich It’s time to eat the rich
Neither big nor special as it turns out All in all, a bit mealy-mouthed A quick ‘Free Palestine’ and can we move on You wouldn’t expect the cleaner And, well, the cleaner’s gone
Hanging from the rafters Let’s talk about the issues Let’s walk in my shoes Never mind his shoes
Trigger the sample Trigger the reaction Take the booking No call to action
Trigger the sample Trigger the backing The music’s great The conviction is lacking
My dearest darling Natalie I really like your style Your tenacity defending This green and pleasant isle Your hard line on asylum seekers Coming over here Our match was made in heaven That’s obvious, my dear
We’re so alike, dear Natalie It’s very plain to see Your votes against equalities And for Voter ID Those rights for workers, I agree Will really have to go And never mind the mishap Shame on you and P&O
Dear Natalie, you’re very right As far as I can see Nobody could question Our compatibility And it’s fair, dear Natalie To tap up Honest Bob Your sex pest ex’s sentence Clearly was a stitch-up job
I’m so glad you crossed the floor Natalie, my dear Welcome to the party With all my love Sir Kier
Susan Hall in a ULEZ car Andy Street on the street Conservatives out in Blackpool South And rare in a council seat
Sunak’s disappointed But says that the plan is working Meanwhile back in Rochdale George Galloway is lurking (Pro-Palestine but anti-woke It’s somewhat disconcerting)
Rotherham, confusingly Is back in Liverpool And Coronation Street’s in Yorkshire But Teeside’s under the Baron’s rule
If you want all the stories Laura only talks to Tories Still squawking Stop The Boats While just not getting many votes
I am increasingly angry, frustrated, and depressed … How we as a society tolerate excruciatingly rich people getting even richer while people sleep on the streets or have to choose between eating or being warm, I’ll never know.
There’s the seaside postcard transphobe At their bawdy best Please don’t take me seriously It was only said in jest
Then there’s the sporting transphobe The level playing field type You can’t give back the muscles Their explanatory gripe
The old school transphobe’s prone to say It wasn’t like that in my day When men were men and men were best And you can probably guess the rest And almost none were gay
Like the won’t-think-about-it transphobe Who just doesn’t understand It used to be so simple You’re a woman or you’re a man
And the it’s-just-common-sense transphobe Because everything’s binary Two eyes, two ears, two hands, two feet Just common sense you see
And then the internet transphobe The Rowlings and Linehans Dead name campaigns are their domain Denying that your trans
Pick your type, there’s more than two And each demands to have a say You might call it a spectrum Which transphobe will you meet today?
The Queen said pace yourself But in the end she chased herself Out of office fast as lettuce could rot It’s so unfair she died And getting groceries supplied Was so much harder with the new job that she’d got
The Downing Street fleas Would’ve tanked Air BnB’s Johnson’s dog must’ve had quite a lot And there was nobody there To make appointments for her hair To help her stop it from getting in a knot
She said that it was worse The strings on the public purse Despite her own ten years in the slot And took no interest in the lives Of presidents’ wives There’s only so much info you can swot
When she had her say She made Friday budget day And gave her enemies the whole weekend to plot Like a game of Tetris She inevitably let this Keep her up before removing Kwasi’s spot
And Hunt did not pick up When she tried to ring him up Because her number was one that he’d forgot And now she’s got a book out Better keep a look out A bestseller I suspect that it is not