What Dowden Didn’t Say Yesterday

Let’s talk about reasonably priced Tim Tams
Cos if we don’t, we’ll talk about the app.
Let’s talk about Aussies and boomerangs
Cos if we don’t we’ll talk about the app (it doesn’t work).

Let’s talk about the Premier League
Cos if we don’t, we’ll talk about the app.
They’re gonna show it on the BBC
While we’re not talking about the app (it doesn’t work).

Let’s talk about public toilets
Cos if we don’t we’ll talk about the app.
This press briefing’s almost pointless
If it’s not talking about the app (which doesn’t work).

Let’s talk about theatres and music
Cos if we don’t we’ll talk about the app.
We can’t use it but don’t want to lose it,
Like we’re happy to lose the app (it doesn’t work).

Dowden’s not got a lot to say
And nothing to say about the app.
A particularly dull press conference today
With nothing to say about the app (which doesn’t work).

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