Where is the Joy?

Cold pensioners applauding
A pay rise for His Majesty
Smoke outdoor cigarettes
Where their local used to be

They share their coughs with cows
Busy trampling the corpses
Of a million culled badgers
Who never were their causes

The Britpop feelgood factor’s
Now a website bound to crash
Get your tits out rock ‘n’ roll
Is waiting for your cash

Where is the joy, they ask
Of booting out the Tories
It’s just a different face
On the same old hard luck stories

Things Are Gonna Get Worse

His look defiant, his words are terse
Things are gonna get worse
He’s got bad news for the public purse
Things are gonna get worse
There’s cuts that he will not reverse
A line which he will not traverse
He’s economically risk averse
Things are gonna get worse

For hopes and dreams, he’s called a hearse
Things are gonna get worse
Bad news doctor, bad news nurse
Things are gonna get worse
There’s multinationals to reimburse
Shareholder dividends to disburse
A billionaire’s laughter is a curse
Things are gonna get worse

Doing Time For Nigel

Derek Drummond, 58
Punched a copper in the face
Stole some bricks and threw them straight
He’s doing time for Nigel

Declan Geiran joined the fight
Tried to set a van alight
Admitted arson, as you might
He’s doing time for Nigel

John O’Malley, 43
Helped destroy the library
Now he’s under lock and key
He’s doing time for Nigel

William Morgan, 69
Brought a cosh with crime in mind
His next few years are well defined
He’s doing time for Nigel

England ‘til I die, they cried
With Little Tommy as their guide
Now they’ve got a bit inside
They’re doing time for Nigel

Cold Sausage Rolls

His nan died in a hospital corridor
His mum says her UC’s a ‘mare
He’s stuck for life in the box room
No girlfriend will wanna come there

He’s scrawled across the middle of a Cross of St. George
In marker, Stop The Boats
He’s been told for so long that’s the answer
A three-word bid for votes

He’s doing the windows, he’s lighting a fire
Chucking bricks at police patrols
He’s marking the murder of three little girls
With a tray of cold sausage rolls

Untitled (5 August 2024)

It’s happy hour in The New Austerity Inn
And there’s still fighting in town
You can’t have it if you can’t afford it
Rachel doubles down
But two for the price of one
When you ain’t got the price of one
Ain’t helping anyone
And it’s not like she can just print money

It was just the same with George behind the jump
Gets a wry nod from the snug
Now there was a fella with no idea
Of how to run a pub

I spoke to a man who said he was a patriot
But he didn’t like the country much
He said he wasn’t a racist, but
And we really didn’t get past the but
Because he was retweeting Robinson
And Nigel Fucking Farage
A burning hotel in Rotherham
And rioters at large

Sweeping up with a hangover
I hear he got a sympathetic ear
From Nick Ferrari on LBC
GB News and Talk TV

Another bloke said well what do you expect
When people ain’t got a thing
There’s a burning police car outside
And it’s happy hour
In The New Austerity Inn

Brisbane Road

Like a newly refurbished East Stand cautiously avoiding talk of a stadium move, we present our brand new, PA upgrade-ready, version of Brisbane Road, complete with drums and updated lyrics, which you can stream on Spotify from today.

We are working on a limited edition 7″ vinyl release, more news on that when we have it, but for now stream away, and Up The O’s!